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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?